While a record number of Americans were busy watching the New Orleans Saints defeat the Indianapolis Colts in Super Bowl 44 (that's right, no Roman numerals here), Jake the Chug (half Chihuahua, half pug) was busy taking home MVP honors in Puppy Bowl 6. The following is a transcript of his postgame press conference, for those who may have missed it.
(Head coach leans over and whispers something in Jake's ear)
Apparently there's no such thing as Superb Owl Sunday, and it was actually Super Bowl Sunday. Apparently that's a big deal, but really, how big can it be? They had The Who playing. Weren't they popular like 280 years ago? What's that? They had roughly 35 percent of the American public watch their game? Is that a lot? Most all time, huh? Wow, over 100 million people to watch. How'd we do? We got around eight million. So I'm not going to be famous? Well that bites.
One last thing before I take any questions. I want to thank my dad, for not humping that guys leg when he had the chance since my mom walked by two minutes later. I want to thank my mom's owners for not spraying dad with the hose like they'd done so many times before. I want to thank Animal Planet for giving us this platform to showcase our talents, as well as the entire Puppy Playing League for taking a chance on a Chug like me. Now, I'll be happy to answer any of your questions.
Sally Hull, Modern Dog: Jake, what does winning MVP in the Puppy Bowl do for your legacy?
Kim Campbell Thornton, Dog World: What did you think of the halftime show for this year's Puppy Bowl?
Tom Barthel, Natural Dog: There's been a lot of talk of performance enhancing drugs going on recently. Are you concerned that you'll be suspected of taking something to boost your performance after winning MVP?
The idea that I would take something to improve my performance is insane. I'm all natural, you can test me any time, any place. I want to say this again. I have not taken steroids, ever. I'd expect this kind of question from a magazine called Natural Dog. You've been pushing the steroid agenda for years, accusing anyone and everyone of using steroids with no evidence to back it up.
Snoop Dog, Doggie Style: Will you be in my next video?
Randy Jackson, American Idol: Yo man, welcome to the Dawg Pound. I gotta say, you rocked tonight. You brought down the house. A million, billion, brazillion percent yes from me. Perfect song choice for you. You were a bit pitchy in spots, but overall, the best performance of the night.
Ummmm, thanks. Do you even listen to yourself anymore or do you just enjoy being a caricature of yourself?
Randy Jackson: Being a caricature of myself is actually easier at this point. Did you know I was in Journey? Have I mentioned that yet?
I've got time for two more questions.
Denise Flaim, Dogs USA: The Puppy Bowl commissioner has talked of making this an international event, what are your thoughts on competing on a world stage?
I'd love the opportunity. I think I can compete against any dogs anywhere. I know there's the perception that American dogs are soft, that we're pampered with our chew toys and our doggie pillows and the fact that there are companies who will drive to my home to bathe me, pamper me and make me feel special. I know there are other countries where dogs aren't treated this will, but I don't think that would impact me in a competition. but we'd need to get the drug testing standardized and find an appropriate time in the schedule. I know the Japanese schedule is a bit different than ours, and with China and Russia having different schedules, it'd be tough to find a time to do it, but if they can find a time, I'd love to compete.
By Eve Adamson, Dog Fancy: Can you sum up in words what this means for you?
Eve, I really can't. I mean, it's like nothing else in the world. Year's from now, when people think of 2010, they'll think of me. Sure, I might be down the list after the Saints winning, after Stephen Colbert winning a Grammy, after pretty much anything else in popular culture, but eventually, in the annals of history, you'll be able to find me among the winners of this year. I'm a part of history than can never be taken away. I have to say that I'm the luckiest son of a bitch alive right now.