Monday, March 21, 2011

Basektball Overload

What are we on, song 16 of my iPod tour?

Song: Walk On
Artist: U2

Three things signify the arrival of Spring. Spring Training, March Madness and beach weather. Of course, beach weather is a favorite of my dog as well. Not because we take her to the beach, but because it’s actually warm enough to go for a walk. (I’m fairly certain my dog would run in fear from the ocean like she does from practically everything from wind up cars to computer wires.) Fortunately for me, I get time to myself during my walks as my dog never seems to want to carry on a conversation with me.

Unfortunately for you, that thinking time results in a lot of contemplation about things that matter only slightly less than world politics and my fantasy teams (which I’ll be drafting next week, try to contain your excitement.) Before I get started, I should mention I’ve watched a lot of basketball over the past week, which means I’ve watched far too many commercials.

What a Hot Babe
Out Jogging may look like
In an Allstate commercial, they say ‘Mayhem’ is out there and then proceed to describe various types of mayhem, such as a freak storm blowing a branch onto your car or a puppy that chewed up your back seat. Those, I’m willing to agree could be considered ‘mayhem,’ but then they try to pass off a ‘hot babe out jogging’ (which causes a guy to drive into a telephone pole) as mayhem. Really?!? Really Allstate? I’m not quite sure you understand what mayhem is if ‘a hot babe out jogging’ qualifies.

A good announcer can make a decent game good, a good game great, and a great game memorable. A bad announcer can make me decide to take my kid outside to play.

Speaking of which, I can’t decide if I’m a good dad for taking my kid outside to play and missing a fantastic ending or if he’s a bad son for wanting to go outside rather than watch basketball.

The Coke brand managers in the Coke Zero commercials don’t seem to be very good at their job.

I was unaware that the lasses have always loved the scent of Irish Spring.

Companies will use brackets in their commercials even if there’s no reason for them.

I can’t help but think millions of people won’t watch TruTV again until next year’s March Madness.

If you’re going to advertise over a three-week tournament, be sure to have enough variety in your commercials so that I don’t actively hate your company by the second day.

Napa know how n…n…n…n…Napa know how.

On a related note, instead of “People who get it” as their slogan, CDW should have gone with “It-Getters.”

Despite your fascination with the endless possibilities of your bracket, odds are no one really cares about it. They’re more interested in their own.

Every year in March, I claim I’m going to pay attention to college basketball the next season, and when next season rolls around, I say I’ll watch in March. It’s a vicious cycle.

Not that you were wondering, but I picked Ohio State to beat Kansas in my final.

Next song: Only Wanna Be With You
Artist: Hootie and the Blowfish

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