Wednesday, January 19, 2011

Peace, Peas and Jon Stewart

Note: Part nine of my 323 part series walking through my iPod

Song: Please, Please, Please Let Me Get What I Want
Artist: Hootie and the Blowfish

Before he went totally crazy and then turned that crazy all the way up to 11, Michael Moriarty uttered one of my favorite lines in the 20-year run of Law & Order. After turning down a plea offer from a defense attorney, that attorney asked Moriarty “What is it that you want?” to which he responded “World peace, the Mets in the (World) Series and your client in Dannemora.”

The Aristotle of our times
As noted philosopher M. P. Jagger once wrote, you can’t always get what you want. Unless something’s changed from the time I wrote this to the time I posted it, world peace hasn’t broken out. (If it has, please stop reading this and go out and celebrate. The last time world peace existed, Adam and Eve were still debating whether to have salad or breadsticks with their never-ending pasta bowl. The internet will still be here when you get back, unless that was a casualty of world peace, in which case the peace will be short-lived as riots will soon be taking place over the lack of internet access. It’ll also mean I’ll miss writing to you all, but if you end up seeing a book written by me, please purchase it and know that it’s dedicated to you.) It took nine more years and a half-dozen cast changes in Law & Order for the Mets to make it to the series. I do think Moriarty was able to get the conviction to send the guy to Dannemora, so that worked out. One out of three isn’t bad (though Meatloaf has higher standards.)

 For the most part, I strive to live my life by the Crow Code in that “it’s not getting what you want; it’s wanting what you’ve got.” Sure, I’d like the Cubs to win the World Series (or make it to the World Series, or even make it to the playoffs. Hell, I’d settle for a winning season at this point) and the winning lottery numbers. I often have people give me the winning lotto numbers, but they usually tell me the day after the drawing, which is the equivalent of getting a free ride when you’ve already paid.

Sure, there are people out there who are only living in a material world and there are guys out there who want nothing but girls, girls, girls. (Alright, enough with the cheesy music tie-ins.  There’s no need for them and I’m not as witty as I think I am.) So here’s the short list of what I want, what I really, really want.

World Peace – or whirled peas. What can I say, I’m a sucker for homonyms.

 A decent selection of streaming options on Netflix – I like 30 Rock and My Name is Earl as much as the next guy, but the lack of funny sit-coms makes the streaming options less than ideal. Then again, there aren’t a great number of entertaining sit-coms to begin with, so maybe they’re doing the best they can.

Warmer weather – If, for some reason, you’re reading this in the summer, you can probably disregard this one. Wilmington had the coldest December on record and has had a total of three days at or above the average temperature for January so far. What’s the point of living at the beach if you can’t actually go enjoy it?

Just one date, come on Anne
The wit of Jon Stewart – and the writing ability of Bill Simmons, and since we’re keeping our feet on the ground and shooting for the stars here, a date with Anne Hathaway in which she and Isla Fisher fight for my attention.

A cool nickname – something like ‘Crabman’ would be awesome, but I don’t really have any crab-related stories, so that seems like a long shot.

That’s it. That’s the list. Sure, I’d like some other things, but ultimately, I think if I could get those five things listed (six if you want to include the Cubs), I’d be content with life, at least until I wanted something else.

Next song: American Idiot
Artist: Green Day

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