Saturday, April 24, 2010

I think I love my wife

I love my wife. She's smart, knowledgeable about things that are important to me (it's nice having my own personal injury expert to ask about injuries regarding my fantasy team) and a host of other reasons. Obviously I'm not doing too much wrong as she's stuck around with me for almost seven years.

So I was a bit surprised at the events that took place Friday night. we had a guys night out that involved darts, games and a few rounds of Rock Band. All in all, a fun night. Well, it was until I arrived back at my apartment. As you might expect, I didn't get home until rather late, meaning Yes Dear was sound asleep. (To be fair, on most nights, if I got home after 9:30 p.m., she'd be sound asleep.)

So I get to the door, unlock the lock and get ready to go inside. But alas, fate was not on my side that night. For you see, Yes Dear felt the need to close the latch (the kind used in hotel rooms), thus making it impossible for me to enter my humble abode for some much needed slumber.

Had I done something wrong? We hadn't had a major blowout. There hadn't been any yelling or screaming or throwing things at each other. She knew I was going out and was going to be home late. Was she trying to send a message? If so, what was it? I know I left a few dishes in the sink, but that's only because they wouldn't fit in the dishwasher (which I loaded and started before I left.)  Even if that was the trigger, it seems like an overreaction to lock me out.

So I did what any loving husband would do. I called Yes Dear's phone in hopes that she would hear it, wake up and then come let me in. But it was not to be as I could hear her phone downstairs, far away from where she slept.

This leads to a dilemma. Do I try to yell up to her, risking waking up not only the little guy who is sound asleep, but also neighbors who probably are sleeping comfortably in their own apartments? Or do I knock on the the door over and over, hoping somehow it wakes her up, but doesn't wake up the little guy? Or, do I go sleep in the car?

I opted for option two, and for the next ten minutes, I'd  knock on the door, wait a few seconds, then knock again. At the 10-minute mark, I decided I'd give it five more minutes and then go sleep in the car. Assuming this wasn't her way of kicking me out, the one night of inconvenience would be worth being able to bring up this little episode anytime I needed to score easy points in a discussion.

'Honey, I want to watch Dancing With The Stars tonight.'

'Well, I wanted to sleep in a bed instead of the car, but we don't always get what we want, do we?'

But just when it seemed all hope was lost, I see the lights for the stairwell come on. I was saved from a night sleeping in a parking lot. I took this as a sign that she wasn't kicking me out. But I'm not great at reading signs, so stay tuned.

1 comment:

morpheus said...

I love Chris Rock performance in this flicks, I Think I Love My Wife is about a man having to make choices between his wife and kids, and a beautiful woman who suddenly appears in his life. I know its old movies, but its still nice to watch it.