Note: After asking for suggestions about a topic to write about on facebook, I tried to write about a few of them that I liked, but none of them seemed to work. So now I'm going to include as many of them as I can in some sort of mad-libs, whose line is it anyway type post. We'll see how it goes.
So there I was, sitting in the 12th inning of a 0-0 baseball game between the Mets and Cardinals with my good friend Sudie Pennebaker discussing the merits of a scoreless baseball game against those of a 3-0 football game. She believed the baseball game was better due to the tension on every pitch while I maintained the football game was better due primarily to the presence of cheerleaders.
As the game progressed to the 14th, we started talking about our strangest dreams. Mine was one in which I was the victim of a murder on Criminal Minds and the Behavioral Analysis Unit of the FBI was called in to investigate. Strangely, my spirit hovered over the crime scene as if it could give clues to the FBI agents. Unfortunately, it couldn't and my murder went unsolved. Her's was a sex dream involving President Obama just before the National Day of Prayer. It seemed like an odd dream to have, but then again, I dreamed about being killed in a television show, so I couldn't really say much.
During a pitching change in the 16th inning, we started talking about Jersey Shore and reality shows in general. Once again, Sudie took the outlandish position that reality shows are actual portrayals of reality and the editors and producers and writers were just there to ensure the most accurate display of what happened was presented to the audience. It was at this point I began to question my friendship with her. It was also at this time I wished I'd bought more $7 beers before they cut off sales.
As the game entered the 17th, we got into a discussion about books and literature. Sudie, still drunk, claimed the best book she'd ever read was The Da Vinci Code, which made me wonder if she'd ever read any other book in her life. Sure, the book was interesting, but not all that well written. I told her the best book I'd read was the book Friday Night Lights, which if you've only seen the television show, you really don't know what it is about.
In the 18th inning, I got tired of hearing how she STILL couldn't believe she ate the whole burrito, so I launched into a 25-minute explanation on my beliefs and strategies concerning fantasy baseball, including which stats I look at, how I value players in regards to position scarcity, and the websites I read to try to gain an edge in the game. However, she seemed bored by this, so I decided against recapping that portion of the conversation in detail.
In the bottom of the inning, the Cardinals tied it. We were actually so engrossed in the game that we didn't have time to talk about our favorite ESPN personalities or how I'm facebook friends with ESPN Radio's Erik Kuselias.
The Mets then took the lead in the 20th inning, about seven hours after the game started. By this point, we'd run out of things to say and just enjoyed the fact that the game ended.