True love waits

There was a time when I loved the Bobby McFerrin song 'Don't Worry, Be Happy.' I'd walk around singing it. I'd call radio stations and beg them to play it. I'd watch MTV hoping they'd play the video. Seeing that crazy guy dance while at the same time helping me realize that I shouldn't worry, but instead be happy, despite losing my job, my girlfriend or whatever tragedy that may have befallen me.

It was also around this time in my life that I enjoyed seeing the lessons Papa Smurf would impart to his Smurf subjects (as well as my first celebrity crush on Smurfette - and I'm still thoroughly confused about how there was only one female smurf in the entire smurf village. And I saddened that I missed the episode when Smurfette got tired of all the other smurfs hitting on her and filed a sexual harassment suit against them. That episode exists, right? It has to, and if it hasn't, surely there's fan-fiction of it.) as well as watching the Muppet Babies before they grew up to hang out with the celebrities of the day.

I was also a HUGE fan of both grape and orange soda. Loved the stuff. Wanted it every time I walked past a soda machine or went shopping with mom. The fact that neither tasted like the fruit they claimed to be named after didn't matter. It only heightened the desire to consume such a beverage. It was a conundrum. It was named after a fruit, so it must be healthy, and yet I was told I couldn't have very much because it would rot my teeth out. It wasn't until years later I learned it was all a marketing ploy to get kids like me to drink sodas like that. I'd been duped by clever marketers.

Despite liking all these things when I was seven or eight, my tastes have been refined (though I still enjoy a Sunkist every once in a while). I no longer wake up on Saturday mornings hoping to watch Muppet Babies. I don't have 'Don't Worry, Be Happy' on my iPod and I can't remember the last time I had grape soda (though, in an odd way, writing about it makes want to go get one.)

It was also around this age when I started to watch baseball. Because they were on television in the afternoon and I could watch their games (more specifically, the end of the games), I became a fan of the Chicago Cubs. Little did I know this decision would be one go on to affect my life more than any decision made by an eight-year old should.

Unlike favorite songs, favorite foods, or favorite underwear (which get changed quite frequently), your favorite team is something you're stuck with. They don't tell you this when you're eight years old. Instead, they're teaching you about multiplication tables, long division, and whatever else you learn (if my second-grade teacher is reading this, sorry I don't remember what else you taught me. I'm sure it was valuable in my development as a person, I just can't think of what that was.) But the fact is once you pick a team, they're your team for life. Oh, don't get me wrong, you can change favorite teams, but then you're labeled a 'front-runner' or a 'bandwagon fan,' which is actually worse than being called a 'terrorist' or a 'Lady Gaga fan.'

How can such an important decision be expected to be made at such a young age? The emotional consequences of choosing the wrong team can have serious long-term consequences. Every April for the past 23 years, I've looked forward to the Cubs season, thinking (sometimes rationally, often irrationally) that this would be the year they broke their now century-long curse of not winning the World Series. Every October (often September, and sometimes, even August), I've lived with the consequences of that fateful decision.

We have academic counselors in high school, career counselors in college, pre-marital counseling, post-marital counseling, regular counseling, and counselors on television all trying to help people lead a better life (well, maybe not Dr. Phil), yet none of them are dedicated to helping impressionable young children make the most important decision of their lives.

So I'm proposing a sports counselor to help kids decide when the time is right to choose a favorite team. There's no reason for someone to rush into a decision when they're not prepared to handle the consequences. They could have their heart broken, ripped out, trampled on and no one would have warned them that this was possible. Or worse, they could make a decision that has repercussions for life. It could cause them to become so depressed or overwhelmed that they drop out of school to try to deal with the consequences of their impulsive decision. Don't you think there are Viking fans or Browns fans or Indians fans who wish someone had told them of the heartbreak they would likely experience.

If you know of kids who are getting close to the age where they start asking questions or may be thinking about picking a favorite team, be sure you take the time to talk to them. Explain to them the consequences of them making this decision before they're ready. They're so young and I'd hate to see them throw away their future by making a decision they could grow to regret every October (or January, or June, depending on what sport they go with.) Together, we can prevent tragedy.

I am the world

As I sit here writing tonight, President Obama is giving his first State of the Union address. Being the patriotic American that I am, I'm watching the women's semifinal of the Australian Open. It's not that I don't care about the state of the United States (I'm guessing it's still intact. If it weren't, I think ESPN would break in to their tennis coverage to mention something about it. Then again, they may just run something on their Bottom Line, this is women's tennis after all), it's just that I find women's tennis (even a match with Serena Williams playing) more interesting than a 20 minute speech stretched out over 90 minutes.

Williams is taking on Li Na from China. Na defeated Williams' sister, Venus, a couple days ago and I'm hoping she takes out Serena Williams tonight. I've got nothing against the Williams' sisters. They've never done anything to me, personally. It's not like I'm a degenerate gambler who has lost thousands of dollars betting on their matches. I just find Na's playing style more enjoyable to watch than the overwhelming power Williams plays with.

But there's a part of me that feels I'm being unpatriotic to cheer against an American in an international competition. I'm not sure why that is. but with the Olympics coming up shortly sports no one cares about for 206 of every 208 weeks will suddenly become matters of national pride and examples of national superiority. (Yes Dear is ready for them to be over already just so we don't have the Olympic-themed commercials anymore.)

I consider myself a pretty avid sports fan. I watch ESPNews rather than cable or network news. I play in several fantasy leagues. I've already started planning my World Cup 2010 fantasy league. Yet I can only name a handful of athletes participating in the Winter Olympics (short track speed skater Apollo Ohno, skier Bode Miller and Ice Dancer Tanith Belbin are the only non-hockey players I can think of. And before you start wondering why I know an ice dancer, take a look at a few of her photos and tell me you wouldn't remember her too.) Despite that, I feel as though I'm supposed to throw my entire support behind anyone wearing the colors of the Red, White and Blue, regardless of anything else.Cheering for an athlete simply because you happen to share the same birth nation feels intellectually lazy. It's like saying Ronnie was your favorite Jersey Shore character simply because you both have an 'R' in your name.

In 2006 and again in 2009, baseball nations from across the globe participated in the World Baseball Classic. Unlike the Olympics, I actually knew a significant number of the players participating. (I'll be honest, I wasn't completely up to speed on the players from South Africa or from Italy.) I got a lot of strange looks from people when I told them I was cheering for either the Dominican Republic team or the Puerto Rican team instead of the USA. I liked their players more than the U.S. players. It's not as though the U.S. team winning was going to do anything for me. I wasn't going to become more attractive to women or shave 30 second off of my mile time if the Americans won. 

I don't know Bode Miller from Arthur Miller. Apollo Ohno could be standing in line in front of me at the Post Office and I wouldn't know him from an Apollo astronaut. But based solely on the locations of their birth, I'm supposed to cheer for them as they compete in their chosen sport. What if I don't like them? What if I think Bode Miller is a punk who is only out for his own self interests? What if I'm jealous of Tanith Belbin's dance partner and don't want to cheer for him out of spite? (Ok, that last one is true. I'm jealous.) I want to see compelling drama with the best athletes in the world competing at the highest level. Like the Backstreet Boys said, "I don't care who you are, where you're from, what you did," I just want you to be entertaining. Do that, and I'll cheer for you. (Unless you're an ice dancer. No matter what you do, I'm cheering for Belbin.)

Get on with it

In the director's cut of the cult classic 'Monty Python and the Holy Grail,' there's a deleted scene where the Dingo (from the tall castle full of women between 16 and 19 and a half who have a beacon that is grail-shaped) seems to be enjoying her time on screen until several characters tell her to 'Get on with it' to move the story along.

It really didn't add anything to the story so I can see why it was cut. However wasn't that long of a scene, so leaving it in really wouldn't have hurt anything (except sales of the video with the scene added for the seriously hardcore fans who had to have it to complete their Monty Python collection). See the scene here.

I bring this up because How I Met Your Mother just celebrated it's 100th episode. (Quick primer for those unfamiliar with the show, it's the story of a guy telling his two children about how he . . . you'll never guess . . . met his mother.) With each episode lasting roughly 22 minutes (without commercials), that means the narrator (Bob Sagat, which seems to work) has been telling this story for 2,200 minutes, or the equivalent of more than 36 hours. I'm trying to imagine a scenario in which any two teenage kids would listen to their dad's story for more than a day and a half (so far).

At the Jersey Shore, you go from having a good time to winding up in jail just like that

It's not often that a show changes television and captures a nation. Sure, American Idol still gets 30 million viewers, 24 is still stretching the bounds of rational thought and Jay Leno is uniting America against him. But those shows have nothing on the best show MTV has debuted since Total Request Live (granted, the bar was very low), Jersey Shore. From advertisers pulling out to castmates ending up in jail to criticisms from Italian-American groups denouncing the show, it had everything someone could want in a guilty pleasure tv show. Add in the fact that I'm not sure the cast realizes we were laughing at them, not with them, and it was a perfect storm.

To commemorate the finale, I'm breaking out something I stole from ESPN's Bill Simmons, the running diary.

10 p.m. - In the eight our leading up to this, MTV replayed the entire season of Jersey Shore, for those who were late jumping on the bandwagon. Based on the few facebook posts I saw yesterday, there were a few people who avoided the show all season, only to be sucked in at the end. To those people, all I can say is 'we're glad you made it for this culture-altering event. I hope you threw up some fist pumps during the day to pump yourself up for this.

10:02 - As we saw in the end of the last episode, Ronnie is arrested after knocking a guy out who was talking smack at him (one shot bro, one shot). Not surprisingly, some of the housemates are asking why Ronnie's in the police car, as though chasing down a guy and rendering him unconscious should be rewarded, rather than arrested.

Back at the house, Snooki asks if they should call 911 to find out about Ronnie. I imagine the call would have gone like this:

911 - '911 what's your emergency'
Snooki - 'Yeah, my friend Ronnie was arrested, I'm trying to find out where he is'
911 - 'You're on MTV's Jersey Shore, aren't you?'
Snooki - 'Yeah, how did you know, and where's Ronnie?'
911 - 'You do realize we're not the police department, right?'
Snooki - 'Yeah, but you know where Ronnie is, don't you?'
911 - 'I'm afraid we can't help you' (hangs up) Good God she is dumb. Where does MTV find these people.

10:03 - Meanwhile, Ronnie spends the night in jail. Who would have thought a juiced up guido would end up in a fight that lands him in jail? I'd have figured a nice guy like him would be at the library researching Shakespeare. (and by night, it was really just three hours.)

10:05 - Apparently trouble finds you in Seaside Heights, according to Ronnie. And by 'finds you' he means you go running away from your friends who are walking home and go chasing after some guy to knock him out, he's factually correct.

Have I mentioned how awesome the duck phone is? If I still had a land line, I'd want that more than a shoe phone or a football phone.

10:07 - Watching these commercials makes me realize I'm not the target demographic for this show.

10:10 - Duck phone keeps ringing, but no one answers for a while, eventually Sammi answers when she realizes Ronnie might be calling. Let's see, your summer love is in jail, your phone's ringing early in the morning after he was arrested. Wo would imagine it'd be Ronnie looking for a ride home?


10:10 - Ronnie says jail is a place he never wants to be again. I get the feeling that's not going to happen.

'At the Jersey Shore, you go from having a good time to winding up in jail just like that.' - The Situation
I expect to see that on Seaside Heights marketing material any day now.


Ronnie then opines that he doesn't regret hitting the guy, instead saying 'I regret that I got caught,' spoken like a guy who won't end up in jail again.

10:13 - The Situation can't get a girl to answer the phone while he's trying to get a girl to go out with him.I, for one, am shocked no one would answer a call from a guy how nicknamed his abs.

10:14 - Snooki doesn't have a date, which is apparently terrible news. She also can't bring herself to ask the guy she was hanging out with in earlier episodes out. Instead she and JWoww decide go out.

10:16 - Commercial for Hot Tub Time Machine? How much pot was smoked in the creation of that idea?

10:17 - JWoww on the boardwalk. 'It's Gorilla Central. It's juicehead central right now, I'm in heaven.' If that's Heaven, I don't want to go anymore. (Apparently JWoww is unaware of some of the side effects of steroids. However, good news guys, JWoww has low expectations for mens' manhood.) Snooki is disappointed there aren't juiceheads when she meets up with JWoww.


10:19 - The group finally decides they should go to the beach together. They spent a month at the beach and haven't gone as a group? WTF mate?

10:20 - The Situation starts creeping on the first girls he sees. 'I'm going to do what I do best, that's pimp it.' This, ladies and gentleman, is the voice of this generation.

10:21 - 27 year old mike ends up hitting on an 18-year old.I think I threw up a little in my mouth.

Dateless Snooki is desperate. (Despite calling a guy and asking him out, Snooki doesn't chase guys)

10:23 - Snooki, after turning down guys' invitations to join them on a balcony starts her own party by dancing on the boardwalk. (Yes, this is as bad as it sounds.) She claims she should have put her hat down for people to throw money into because she had a big crowd watching her. At best, she had four people watching at once. Then again, she, too, wants a juiced up guy, so maybe four is a lot to her.

10:24 - Snooki's exboyfriend, who she is still in love with, is on the balcony watching snooki dance. Apparently running in to her ex is 'not cool, not cool, not cool, not cool.'

10:28 - Snooki appears not over her exboyfriend and is now crying while holding the duck phone - still upset about being dateless. Seeing a woman upset about running into her ex, crying about not being able to find a date and holding a duck phone is really something everyone needs to see at least once in their lives.

10:29  - It's Bro's night, minus Ronnie, of course. The guys go to a place described by Vinny as 'a chucky cheese for dudes.' Again, I hope that appears in marketing material for that place soon.


10:31 - Meanwhile, Sammi and Ronnie go on an actual date where Sammi says Ronnie has a lot to offer. what that is, exactly, no one has been able to pinpoint, unless you like short-tempered, juiced up, shallow, violent guys who keep track of your mistakes and threatened to leave you after your third strike (and not the violent crime kind, but the 'I'm upset you called my big toe ugly' kind). Actually, after writing that out, I can see what Ronnie has to offer now.


The couple toasts to 'us past the Jersey Shore,' which judging by the previews of the reunion show, doesn't work out so well. (Note, as of this writing, I haven't watched the reunion show yet.)

10:32 - Snooki  is on the balcony crying, really upset about this dateless thing. The Situation is giving dating advice, which is like taking parenting advice from a six-year old.


10:33 -Snooki  'when it comes down to it, we really love each other,' which, according to the previews, she'll put into action with The Situation later that night.

10:36 - Vinny gets stuffed bulldog, puts t-shirt with 'the situations #1 girl' to signify how attractive all the girls Mike brings home. This is in response to The Situation putting 'haterade' under Vinny's bed (haterade was a concoction of whatever The Situation could find in the refrigerator. It did not have a pleasing aroma. 

10:37 - The Situation says Vinny's joke didn't bother him, and if you're playing a joke on him, it means he's on your mind. Some psychology student is going to do a dissertation on The Situation and his extreme self-confidence and insecurity and how they manifest themselves in him. I look forward to reading it.

10:39 - The Situation and Snooki hook up in the hot tub. Before things go further, he makes up an excuse to get out of the jacuzzi. Afterwards, he says he thought about getting with Snooki, but she's like his litter sister, which seems like and odd thing to say after you just finished making out with her.

10:44 - At their last supper Snooki likes the shrivled up ones . . . relax, she's talking about hot dogs (I think.)

10:46 - Vinny in a hooded sweatshirt. I don't want to live in a place where you have to wear that in Septermber.

As an aside, there's not enough fist pumping in this episode.

"One minute you got three girls in the jacuzzi, the next someone's in jail, that's the jersey shore." -The Situation offering another marketing campaign for the region.


10:53 - Everyone starts packing to leave the shore.

The Situation says he 'ran the house the summer, whether you like it or not.' I'm not sure he knows what 'running this house' means.

10:55 - After The Situation leaves, Ronnie out next, surely on his way to his court date.

10:57 - JWoww and her extra W leave next, saying '20-30 years from now, I'll remember everything.' I'm not sure she remembers last night.

Pauly D quote 'Girls after girls after girls. That the ideal summer for everyone,' except the girls.

10:59 - Snooki is last to leave. "The snooks is out," thus ending a magical television experience.

Overanalyzing something that doesn't need to be analyzed in the first place

Like most things, being a stay-at-home dad has it's advantages and disadvantages. On the plus side, I get to play with the Little Guy. On the negative side, I have the opportunity to watch some of the kids' shows on PBS. The Little Guy's favorite is Sid the Science Kid, the charming tale of Sid who goes to school and learns about various (you'll never guess) science-related topics, including the wheel, muscles, vaccinations and other topics that are probably valuable information for a young child.

However, since I get to watch show fairly regularly, I've found myself analyzing it (mostly for the mental stimulation it provides. Honestly, I figured out rain clouds a while ago and am not in need of a refresher course designed for 4-year-olds.) So I'd like to present to you my in depth analysis of a show designed for someone 27 years younger than me.

The Setting:
 Sid the Science Kid takes place primarily in two places, Sid's home and his pre-school. We know from the holiday episode that he lives in a place where it's warm in December because he celebrates the holidays in his back yard. None of the characters speak with an Southern accent, so I think it's safe to say his family lives west of Texas. Forced to guess, I'd say the show is set in somewhere like Phoenix, Arizona or in Southern California. In the aforementioned Holiday episode, Sid doesn't want to go to Minnesota to visit his Aunt Irene (who we never see) because of how cold it is there.

Sid's Home - While we can assume Sid lives in a typical suburban home, we only ever see Sid's Room, a hallway (with doors) that leads to the kitchen and his backyard. With two parents and an infant in the house, it's safe to say there are other bedrooms in the home. He has a tree house in his back yard, though he rarely ever plays there.

Sid's School - Again, it appears to be a typical pre-school, though there are some questions that remain unanswered. The playground for the school is fenced in, but right next to the road. Also, when Sid's mom drops him off each day, the gate does not appear to be locked. Chris Hanson may want to set up a sing operation there just to protect the kids. There are swings, a sandbox, jungle gym and benches on the playground, but the children appear to be unsupervised. During the morning routine, Sid questions his classmates on various topics, but there are no adults to be found outside with them. This seems to be a major safety concern. Also, while we know there are other classes at the school, only Sid and his three friends are ever seen. That's right, this preschool limits class size to four. Assuming there are five age groups (infants, one, two, three and four-year olds), there are a total of 20 kids at this school. Tuition would need to be fairly high to cover the costs of all the things at the school.

Inside the classroom, the kids have 'rug time' where they talk about a topic, the 'super fab lab' where the perform experiments and a large play area. This, again, is for four children. It's an absurdly large room for four kids.

The Cast:

Sid - Our main character, the show revolves around him. In his room he has a plethora of stuffed animals, including Arnie the Dinosaur, Horatio, and a blow-up penguin he's named 'Dr. Beaks', who seems to take the brunt of Sid's 'violent' outbursts (mostly play kicking). He starts each episode with a question that he usually asks his parents. Despite getting the correct answer from them, he's not satisfied and pledges to ask the same question at school, where he gets the same answer, only in more detail.

Sid appears to be very self-centered and even selfish. Every day at school the class discusses what he wants to talk about despite the fact that the other three children may have questions of their own. He's always the last one to arrive each day and when he does, he breaks into song to introduce us to all his friends. While the others all claim to be friends, they're all playing separately until Sid arrives, which leads one to question if they're really friends. He's also the last to leave as we always see his teacher waiting with just hm to be picked up at the end of the day.

Alice - She is Sid's mom. She works at an office of some kind. She is apparently Christian as her family celebrates Christmas, but she is also apparently African-American as she celebrates Kwanzaa as well. She likes flowers and, according to Sid, is 'really good at computer stuff.' Whatever she does, she's unavailable to pick Sid up from school each day, though she does drop him off each morning.

Mort - Sid's dad, he's Jewish, celebrates Hanukkah and is in construction, possibly a carpenter. Despite being a Jewish carpenter, the show avoids making him into a Christ-like figure. His catch-phrase is 'Blam-O' which he uses for just about anything, including successfully telling a joke, making pancakes or feeding his infant son. He's kind of dorky and, frankly, I think Alice could do better. She settled for Mort.

Zeke - Sid's infant brother, he looks to be roughly seven-months old. He's has a mini Dr. Beaks toy and is remarkably well-behaved. So much so, in fact, he's often left in his high chair for minutes on end without making a sound. He seems to be close to talking as he mimics the sounds of his parents really well. He brings nothing to the show, honestly. Despite the fact that both Alice and Mort work, what happens to Zeke during the day is a mystery. He doesn't go to school with Sid and we can probably assume he doesn't go to the construction site with Mort. I guess there's a chance he goes with Alice each day.

Gabriella - Sid's best friend. She likes to dance, she has an older brother who plays soccer and she doesn't like being called 'ma'am' by Sid when he's doing his daily survey. Even though they're only four, I think she and Sid are likely in some sort of romantic relationship based on how disappointed she is that rain may ruin their 'playdate' in Sid's tree house. She seems to be the most mature one of Sid's friends.

Gerald - The Cosmo Kramer of the group, Gerald always makes an entrance after the class has sat down for 'rug time.' We really know very little about Gerald. He has a dad. We can assume he likes dinosaurs since he wears the same dinosaur shirt each day to class. He seems very confident, though there's a chance he uses that extreme confidence to mask his insecurities of being the only 'gray' character in an otherwise yellowish or brownish world.

Mae -  Sid's glasses-wearing friend who appears to fulfill the Asian aspect of the show, Mae is exceedingly polite to the point it seems her parents must be very strict to drill such politeness into her. She has a cat named Mooshu that she talks about fairly often. I fear if she doesn't broaden her horizons, she could end up as a 'cat lady.'

Susie - The teacher for the class, she's always prepared for any and all questions, no matter what they may be. Sid wants to talk about muscles, she's got a chart already out and ready to discuss. Sid wants to talk about leaves, she's got charts and activities all planned out. Extremely intelligent (she knew how many muscles were in the face), she's also a very talented singer. Each episode she sings a song pertaining to the topic at hand. How she can have so many topical songs ready for such a variety of topics is beyond me. It's never explained.

Sid's Grandma - Perhaps the most interesting person in the show, Sid's Grandmother generally only appears near the end to pick up Sid from school. How she has time to do this each day despite being a nurse (for 37 years, she tells us) is, again, never explained. She tells tales of times long ago when she was a little girl on the ride home, all of which fit into the narrative that has been discussed at school. We know she hang glides, scuba dives, she's bowled a perfect game, she built a house and she knows the history of toilet paper. Why the show isn't about her is a mystery as she's a much more entertaining. No mention is ever made of a husband, either by her or anyone in the family. My guess is that it's a dark secret that the family doesn't mention.

If you've made it this far, you're probably thinking I need something better to do with my time. You're probably right.

How 'Jersey Shore' is going to make me smarter

I spent four years of my life living near the Jersey Shore. Fortunately for me, they were the first four years of my life, so I didn't have a chance to be corrupted by 'The Situation' or fall victim to the charm of Sammi 'Sweetheart' (who, while attractive, has far surpassed the 'not worth it' zone. Why Ronnie puts up with her is beyond me).

Yes, I'm a fan of MTV's Jersey Shore. It's a train wreck of epic proportions. The perfect mix of extreme over-confidence and insecurity. Yes Dear watched for the first time this weekend and doesn't understand the joy I take in watching complete strangers look like idiots. (For that matter, I'm not sure the cast of Jersey Shore realize we're laughing at them. And as an aside, for a summer at the beach, there's an awful lot of fighting taking place.) Suffice to say, after watching, I feel as though I need to do something to replenish the IQ points I lose.

Reading Joyce's Ulysses or Tolstoy's War and Peace would be a waste of my time to attempt reading. I'll be the first to admit I'm not intelligent enough to read them. Hell, I'm not sure I'm intelligent enough to read Chuck Klosterman's Sex, Drugs and Cocco Puffs. But every now and again, I delve into something that gives me the illusion of reading something semi-intelligent. Last year I made it though Baseball and Philosophy (from the Popular Culture and Philosophy series), which tackled such topics 'Baseball and the Search for American Moral Identity' and 'The Ethics of the Intentional Walk' (which are more exciting if you're a baseball fan, trust me.)

So now, I'm set to embark on my next book to make me feel less dumb. This time, I'm going to try another Pop Culture and Society series, this time tackling Seinfeld and Philosophy. Chapter titles include 'Jerry and Socrates: The Examined Life?', 'Seinfeld, Subjectivity and Sartre' and 'Value Ethics and TV's Seinfeld.'

(As I'm writing this, my wife has turned on 'The Bachelor' which she freely admits is stupid.)

Trying this again

Fortunately, I'm not the world's worst blogger. To have that title, I'd actually have to blog once in a while.

But I find I waste a lot of time online, especially at nights when Yes Dear falls asleep at 8:30 or 9 p.m. and there's next to nothing on television. So we're going to try this whole blogging thing yet again. No promises on length, quality or even quantity of posting, or even topics covered.

So, here we are, trying this again.