I will get by

The NFL Owners locked out the players last week, leading to the possibility there won’t be professional football in the fall.

Dear NFL and NFL Players Association,

I understand you’re having difficulties in reaching an agreement as to how to divide the golden eggs constantly laid by the golden goose you both currently share custody of. Personally, I don’t really care how you divvy it up the eggs as I’m neither a player nor an owner in the league. But I thought you both would like to know that I’m exactly the kind of person you risk alienating with your little squabble.

You see, I’m not a die-hard fan. I don’t live and die with any team’s fortunes. You don’t have to worry about those guys. They’ll be back regardless of how long you’re gone. You can essentially ignore their feelings during your little squabble as there’s nothing you can do that will drive them away. These are the people who will go to New York and watch your commissioner read names off a card. They show up to training camp to watch practice. We’re talking about practice, man. Practice. We’re not talking about games, we’re talking about practice. You can dress dogs up in NFL uniforms and put it on tv and they’ll buy tickets.

No, I fall into the casual fan category. Those record ratings you enjoy. Yeah, that’s not due to the people in the above paragraph. No, they’re due to me. (Ok, not specifically me since I’m not a Nielson household and I’m not measured for the ratings, but people like me.) The only reason I watch your games is because my fantasy football team isn’t going to run itself. But should the game disappear, I’m fairly confident I’ll be able to find other things to do to fill that time. I hear there’s a beach nearby that I can visit. Or a museum. Or perhaps I could read a book. If things get really bad, I could even spend time with my family.

Oddly enough, I’d miss ESPN’s Fantasy Focus podcast more than the actual games, especially considering the podcast is commercial free and your games exist primarily to sell erectile dysfunction pills and oversized trucks designed for people feeling self-conscious about needing erectile dysfunction pills. At least those guys are regularly entertaining, unlike the Carolina Panthers games I’m subjected to here.

So good luck to everyone. I’d say you’d be missed if you can’t work it out, but I’ll be ok. The fantasy football industry may suffer, but I’ll be ok.